


Lovely Day

by hannahindie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Reader Insert, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, sam x reader - Freeform, spn fanfic, supernatural fanfiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 18:19:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahindie/pseuds/hannahindie





	Lovely Day

Sam can’t sleep. He watches as the clock advances from three a.m. to four a.m., and turns it off when the alarm goes off at five. He considers climbing out of bed for his usual early morning run, but instead he pulls the blankets tighter around himself and stays put. He can’t seem to get comfortable either, and after struggling on his back and side for several minutes, finally flips over onto his stomach and rests his head on his arm. Six a.m. comes and goes, and at seven he hears the shuffling footsteps of someone heading towards the shower room. At eight, there’s a knock on the door, and Dean’s bellowing voice announcing that the bacon and eggs are ready, and that if he wants any, he’d better hurry his ass up. Sam sighs and turns his face into the pillow, ignoring his brother. Dean had tried this earlier in the week with pancakes, and after nearly having his heart sold on the monster black market, Sam wishes Dean would just let it go.

He rolls back over onto his back and stares at the ceiling, and wonders how long he can hide in his room and get by with it. Nine a.m. creeps by and by ten he thinks that he might be lucky enough to be left alone. His hope is gone, and though it was barely there before, the incident with the Bad Place and Kaia on top of losing Mary and Jack, and being unsure of Cas’ whereabouts, has pushed him over the edge of being done. He is done pretending, he is over putting on a thin facade that continues to crack with every overly enthusiastic lie he tells to make Dean feel better…he’s just done. 

Then his phone goes off.

_Hey. Missed you at breakfast._

He stares at the screen, the cursor blinking expectantly while he considers answering. Y/N has been quiet since they got back to the bunker, though she has been more sociable than Sam has. Sam realizes that out of everything this life has brought to them, more bad than good, Y/N is the best thing any of them could have ever asked for.

_**Sorry. I wasn’t hungry. -S** _

He groans and runs a hand over his face; not exactly the best way to keep a conversation going. He isn’t sure that Y/N knows how he feels, and he’s been careful not to let it come up. But, as he waits for the text notification to go off, he notices that his chest feels a little lighter. Getting out of bed still feels like a chore, but depending on the course of the conversation, he is willing to consider it.

_Well, Dean apparently was hungry enough for the three of us. Don’t worry, nothing was wasted. Lol_

He is surprised by the quick jolt of jealousy that shoots through him as he pictures Dean and Y/N alone in the kitchen, cooking and talking like nothing is wrong. Before he can respond, his phone goes off again.

_Meet me on the roof in five?_

**_Sure. -S_ **

He throws his legs over the edge of the bed and sits up, stretching as he goes. If anything is going to get him moving, it’s the thought of spending time alone with Y/N. It’s rare, but his day is always better for it. He throws on a pair of jeans and a flannel, runs his fingers through his hair, and finally leaves his room.

“Rise and shine, princess,” Dean proclaims loudly as Sam walks through the library and towards the kitchen.

“Shut up.”

“And, as usual, brilliant with a comeback. You missed breakfast.”

Sam doesn’t stop walking, just looks over his shoulder as he crosses into the next room, “Wasn’t hungry.” He disappears around the corner and is thankful that Dean doesn’t come after him. He stops by the fridge and grabs a bottle of water, then heads towards the steps that lead to the roof. He pauses when he reaches the top and takes a deep breath, then throws the door open. He’s met with bright, warm sunlight and he squints against it.

“It’s bright today,” Y/N comments without turning around, and he walks over to join her at the wall overlooking the road to the bunker.

“Yea, it is.” Sam takes a sip of water and takes in the scenery, occasionally sneaking a glimpse at Y/N who has remained silent since her initial greeting.

A few moments pass before she breaks the quiet stillness, “You okay?”

Sam shrugs, “I don’t know. Define okay.”

She turns to face him, and leans a hip against the wall as she stares up at him, “So, no.” He shakes his head and she sighs, “I get it. I’m not really okay, either.” She crosses her arms in front of her but keeps looking at him. He isn’t sure what he expected; pity, maybe, or enthusiastic promises that everything is going to be okay. Instead, she looks sad. In fact, she looks almost the same as he feels, and he wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around her. He’s pretty sure it would help both of them, but he stays where he is. “I heard what you said to Dean in the car, about it ending bloody…that it ends bad.”

He drops his gaze away from hers, then looks back over the landscape. She wasn’t supposed to hear that; he may be out of hope, but he didn’t want Y/N to fall down the same hole he is currently trapped in. Hell, that he’s _been_ trapped in.

“You’re right, you know.” He looks back at her in surprise and she laughs softly, “Didn’t expect me to agree with you, did you?”

“No, not really…” He sits the water bottle on the wall and turns around so he can lean against it, his arms crossed. “ _Why_ do you agree with me?”

“Why? Look around, Sam. We finish one thing, something else happens. The fact that there are other dimensions is ridiculous. We’ve lost Jack…Mary. And where is Cas? I’m not saying we won’t find them, that we won’t get them back. But I get feeling hopeless, and I’m not stupid. Hunters don’t get to have happy endings. The only way you get a happy ending is if you get out of the life, and how many do you know that’s done that?” She pauses for a moment, waiting for an answer, then laughs quietly when Sam stays quiet. “Exactly. It always finds you, it always comes back. If anyone knows that, it’s you and Dean.”

She turns back to face the open landscape and sighs, “It’s hard. It’s hard to realize that and keep going. But then I think about how lucky we are. We have a home, we have each other. So many of us don’t.” She looks up at him and smiles, and for a moment he forgets that just ten minutes earlier, it didn’t seem worth it to drag himself out of bed. “So that’s why, today, we’re going to have a day just to ourselves.”

Sam can’t help but smile back in surprise, “What? How’d you manage that?”

She shrugs, “I’ve got skills. Dean is going to be occupied detailing Baby, there are three pies and two cases of beer in the fridge already cold, and I made his favorite meal for dinner. All he has to do is heat it up. He’ll be happy as a clam, and won’t even notice we’re gone.”

“That sounds awesome…but why?” Sam is genuinely confused; he can’t remember a time, unless they were researching, that he and Y/N went off on their own.

“Because,” she says as she reaches out and takes his hands in hers, “it’s time that we get to have some time together that doesn’t involve monsters. I’ve already got it all planned out, and you better believe it’s going to be a lovely day.” She winks and everything Sam has been worrying about vanishes. The world seems alright, at least for the moment, and it occurs to him that it doesn’t really matter how it ends, as long as they still have today.


End file.
